Saber-Toothed Tigers, Sludgy Oil, And Why You Need A Nap

If your mind feels stuck on high alert and your body runs like a car on sludgy oil, this conversation is your reset. 

We unpack how chronic fear hijacks your biology, why the nervous system needs a flexible rhythm, and how trust, not control, opens the door to healing.

Drawing from faith and science, we connect the dots between cortisol, mitochondria, and the emotions that ride on real electrical and chemical signals in your body.

We start with how fear gets amplified by culture and even marketing, then pivot to a hope-centered framework grounded in the Gospel’s redemption arc. You’ll hear a vivid cave metaphor that brings sympathetic and parasympathetic states to life: outside the cave, you scan for threats, inside the cave, you rest, digest, and reconnect. That ebb and flow is built into circadian biology, yet modern life traps many of us at the top of the stress curve. We challenge the myth that anxiety fuels performance and share how calm focus actually improves memory, creativity, and results.

From there, we get practical. Learn how to spot when your body is stuck in emergency mode, why fertility and digestion stall under constant alarm, and which simple signals, lengthened exhales, consistent sleep, nourishing meals, gentle movement, prayer, and journaling, teach your system it is safe to downshift. We map your sphere of control, highlight what to release, and show how community brings fear into the light where it loses its power. Expect a blend of neuroscience, spiritual grounding, and everyday tools designed to move you from survival to steady, sustainable peace.

If this conversation lifted you, share it with another woman who needs community, then subscribe for more Faith First episodes and join us on YouTube where we grow together in real time. Leave a review to tell us where fear is ruling your week and which practice you’re using to reclaim your rhythm.

Coach Stephanie has an awesome workshop coming up on February 3.

Get more information and sign up HERE.

Chapters

• 0:00 Welcome And Faith-First Framework
• 0:31 From Masculine Paths To Shared Mission
• 1:25 Fear As A Tool In Culture And Marketing
• 2:29 Hope-Focused Messaging And The Gospel Arc
• 3:27 Biology Of Fear And Stuck Stress Cycles
• 5:15 Emotions, Vibration, And Cell Health
• 6:31 Sympathetic Overdrive And Recovery Basics
• 8:03 Cave Metaphor For Nervous System Balance
• 11:53 Flexibility, Cortisol, And Performance Myths
• 13:16 Naming Anxiety And Pathways To Hope
• 15:12 Control Versus Trust And Spheres Of Influence
• 18:18 Practicing Surrender And Practical Reflection
• 21:49 Community, Light, And Closing Blessing

Transcript

Melissa: 0:03

Welcome to the Heart and Soul Elevation Podcast, where faith meets wellness and women learn to live aligned spirit, mind, and body. We're your hosts, Melissa Holman and Stephanie Pasniokis.

Stephanie: 0:16

Two Jesus-loving women passionate about helping you steward your health without losing sight of the one who gave it to you. Around here, healing happens in community. Scripture leads the way, and science simply confirms what God designed.

Melissa: 0:31

Let's elevate your heart and soul together. So it in the last episode we talked about how we met, how I was sitting and reading The State of Fear by Michael Crichton when you asked me, What are you reading? And again, very masculine energy. We found out in the last episode. You also have that. Um which could definitely be one of the reasons that we hit it off so well. And just possibly. I mean, I went into a very masculine scientific endeavor. Neuroscience. Well, I didn't go into science, but I was in the military. I was a security policeman. Very good. Like totally male-dominated career field. Absolutely. Military first of all, policeman second, you know, very male-dominated. And I fit right in. I fit right in with all the guys. No problems at all. Anyway, yeah, okay. I don't care. And reading State of Fear, and we actually got to talking about the book itself and just how much we love the book and how the enemy uses fear. And not just the enemy, but like politicians, the news media, like fear, remember. They're like puppets.

Stephanie: 1:43

Oh my gosh. They're like puppets of the enemy. I don't, I don't think that it's not, it's not that it's not just the enemy, it's the enemy uses this and works through so many avenues to propagate fear. Absolutely marketing is fear of what you don't have, saying you need this thing. Okay. And and can I tell you as an entrepreneur how tough it is? Yes. Go ahead and say it because I have the same struggle. You know, and and but but realizing that while I have to touch on some of that, the part that's painful for someone to say, yeah, that's me, but then immediately go into this is what you can have. This is all of the good. Right. This is the hope. I am a hope dealer. Hope is is is is the enemy of of that fear. And I just love the enemy of that fear.

Melissa: 2:29

I want to say that like marketing is the is a perfect mirror for the gospel, right? Because in the gospel shares the bad news first, all of sin and fallen short of the glory of God, right? You you're a mess, but Jesus, right? So market.

Stephanie: 2:46

But here's all the good stuff. But here's all the good stuff. So even still, and any good story, any good story arc.

Melissa: 2:51

Any good story, right?

Stephanie: 2:53

The Bible, but any good story arc, it's gonna have, you know, so and so goes along and is doing their everyday thing, and oh, something bad happens, and then they struggle and struggle and struggle. Oh, there's this really great thing that happens, right? Those are always the stories that really resonate with who we are. I mean, deep down inside, I think we were designed for that story of redemption. Agree. Uh, it's just it blows my mind.

Melissa: 3:16

It's almost as if when the world began, that there was a lot of people.

SPEAKER_02: 3:22

There was a plan.

Stephanie: 3:27

Right. So we look back and and and we think about how the state of fear we it's it's used as a tool to keep people dependent and from be and and for stealing autonomy, for stealing, for stealing our ability to, in my world, I call it being the boss of our health when I'm talking about health and wellness. But it's it's it but this you know, a lot of our disease today actually is because our our our our cells, our biochemistry, our mitochondria that create our energy and that that govern our our immune and our stress response, they get stuck in the middle of the stress cycle. They get stuck in a biochemical state of fear. Yes. And and and I actually talk about it just like that when I'm teaching about this. And and when we're stuck in a biochemical state of fear, that is where our we lose our physical, mental, and spiritual health, our spiritual, physical and mental health. All of that can happen. And that state of fear is down like we think of it as being on our heads, but that it goes right down into ourselves and it propagates there. So so the state of fear is absolutely a a tool of the enemy. It it's it's it's informative when it's healthy. There is a healthy state of fear, guys. There is but uh you can't, if you're stuck in it, uh it ceases to be helpful.

Melissa: 4:52

I was gonna say our we were designed to be sensing beings. We are sensitive beings. We feel things with our hands, right? We taste things, we smell things, we hear things, we are sensitive beings. And part of being sensitive is we were designed to experience the full range of human emotions. One of those is fear. One of those is fear.

Stephanie: 5:17

And how that's how we live, that's how we survive. It's important that exactly, but to know when we should be afraid.

Melissa: 5:23

But when we are stuck in that sympathetic state, when we're stuck in that fear uh constantly, and those that emotion just we're gonna go woo-woo for a second. That emotional, that vibration of fear interferes, just like you're talking about, with every single cell in your body. Because you have this emotion stuck in your body that you can't let go of. It's ruling you and it's interfering with all of your systems, every part of you cannot function properly because that fear is in there vibrating around and natural vibrational frequency of those organs.

Stephanie: 6:01

Absolutely, but also it changes the structure of how water flows in your body and gets sludgy. There's so many things that don't operate well in that case. Imagine if you have a car that has nice fresh oil and everything runs well, but then you have a car that has a whole bunch of sludgy oil and it doesn't run well and it overheats. That hat that vibration, all of that, it creates that sludge, uh sludge in our body. It's uh it's really crazy because I'm uh you're gonna go in the woo-woo side of it, but that's not really woo-woo because we are electromagnetic beings. We actually, from the neuroscience perspective, our neurons and um biochemistry, we have electromagnetic fields. I mean, that's how our body functions, it's not separate. So um it's I I you know, maybe some people think of it as woo-woo because we can't see it under a microscope exactly. Exactly.

Melissa: 6:52

That's what I mean when I say woo-woo.

Stephanie: 6:54

Like it's yeah, it's not seeable. But but from a but, you know, that sympathetic parasympathetic state. I think I even mentioned it, I don't know if it was on another podcast yet, but we um, you know, that we're not supposed to get stuck in that that fear state because what ends up happening is that that's an emergency, that's the emergency response system. That's like when uh the lights go on and the emergency lights come on and they're on a backup generator and it only goes for so long, but you can't, but most of the power is going to that and you can't run the rest of the things. Or if the generator comes on, you can keep the refrigerator going, but you're gonna lose light and heat, or something like that. When our body is stuck in that state, we're running on certain systems and we're we're diverting resources from natural function, from standard thriving function over into emergency response mode, and you cannot be healthy there because physically we're unable to support that for extended periods of time. And so it will affect our spirit, it'll affect our our our mind, it'll affect our body. I think of Elijah when he was when he was when he was traveling, and and he actually asked to die. He wanted to die. He was practically suicide. He was just like, take me now. I don't want to live. And what did God do? You need to you need to eat and take a nap. Yes. You need to eat and take a nap. You need to take care of yourself, you need to get out of that stress mode, you need to rest, you need to relax, you need to sleep, you need to restore, recover, reset, and nourish and create building blocks so that you can make the neurotransmitters you need, so that your your vibration can come back, so that you can make yourself space to commune with me and to reset and get out of that that that fear state that blocks our full function into that restored state.

Melissa: 10:01

I love talking about um the sympathetic versus parasympathetic and going back to early man, right? Because this is that fear state, just like you said, is necessary. It is an important part of our survival mechanism. And I think of early man and I think of caveman, right? We think of cavemen. And when they're inside the cave, in community and safe, right? They're in the parasympathetic system.

Stephanie: 10:26

The moment which is rest, digest, feed, and breed. That's where your sex hormones are unlocked and they're and they're and they're producing. And and because guess what? You're not going to be fertile if you're in a constant state of fear. Your body does not produce the sex hormones because it's not safe. Why would you bring a child into a world that's not safe? Absolutely. So continue, but they're breeding in that cave, they're feeding in that cave, they're resting in that cave, they're digesting, they're having community, there's oxygen, there's safety, there's love.

Melissa: 10:54

And the moment they step out of the cave, they could be eaten by a saber-toothed tiger, trampled by a mastodon, you know, who knows? And the sympathetic system comes online. They are on high alert, looking for every single thing that could possibly go wrong. And that's really their entire existence outside the cave. They're in the cave, they're in the parasympathetic, they're outside of the cave, they're in the sympathetic. No one is meant to live outside of the cave for their entire lives. No, and that's what we're talking about. When you are stuck in that stress cycle, when you are stuck in that system, nothing will work optimally. Yeah, you might survive, but is survival all you want? Right, but is survival all you want? Yeah, exactly. And uh we gotta go back, we gotta go inside and outside the cave. And if you if you if you look at it, we're we're constantly on this wave, sympathetic, parasympathetic, sympathetic all throughout the day. The sympathetic system is what wakes you up. The parasympathetic allows you to go to sleep. It's a constant cycle all day long. Yeah, but there are way too many people who are stuck at the top of that curve. They're stuck at the top in that sympathetic system, very rarely dipping down.

Stephanie: 12:09

Yeah, and certainly not enough. And we're supposed to, you know, let's just say that the the the 80-20 rule is a fantastic rule, and it just applies to so many things, right? Most of the time, 80% of the time, in point of fact, we should probably we should be in a parasympathetic state, with the other 20%, you know, being in the sympathetic state. And then, of course, our normal waking circadian rhythm of of cortisol, which is perfectly fine. I mean, cortisol is is as important for life as insulin. Um, uh, and in these these two things get they get uh bad into health, but they're important. They're but but again, when they're stuck up and high, then then they block a lot of other really good things. So it's about that flexibility, that ability to shift in and out of those states as needed and is as healthy. And it, you know, I what's a funny story I told myself, and and I'd love to dive into this another time with you. But I used to think that if I wasn't anxious, I wasn't gonna perform well. I actually thought that I would do be a poor student if I wasn't stressed and worried about the test. Can I tell you that once I let that go and I realized that my grades in that test were not going to change what God's plan in my life was, that I was gonna get exactly what I needed, as long as I did my like he was in control. And I let go of the anxiety of it. And can I tell you that I did better? Yeah. I did better, of course. But but I used to think, well, if I'm not worried about it, if I'm not anxious about it, I'm gonna forget things, things are gonna fall through the cracks, things are gonna, I had all these stories going on that were just propagating my ultimate disease state, a dis-ease state of fear. Absolutely. And it was just a lie from who?

Melissa: 13:57

Yes.

SPEAKER_02: 13:58

Yeah.

Melissa: 13:59

Yeah. And I know so many people that get stuck in that anxiety loop and they can't get out of it. They cannot get out of it. So many people. And maybe, oh shoot, maybe somebody listening is vibing with that and um like going, that'd be me. I don't know.

Stephanie: 14:18

That'd be me. I feel like I'm in a state of fear. And you know, think about it for a moment. If you feel that way, where is it coming out in your life? Where is it impacting your ability to function in the way you want to function in the community and connection? How are how is it affecting your physical body? How is it affecting your mental health? And it doesn't, it you're we say you're stuck there, you're not stuck there forever. I'm as I mentioned, I am a hope dealer. There is a way out, and that way out of it. Absolutely. I mean, honestly, goodness gracious, Melissa, this is what you and I both do for a living in our respect.

Melissa: 14:50

I was just gonna say we're both hope dealers, absolutely.

Stephanie: 14:52

Hope dealers, and we both, it depending on where this fear is coming from and what's happening, right? There are different ways to come out of it. And there's different ways you know, different you can start just about anywhere.

Melissa: 15:04

But I do wanna, I do want to, I do want to say that there's a design behind your anxiety, there's a design behind your fear. I don't want to give too much credence to the enemy because I don't think he has all that many tricks up his sleeve. But there's a design behind what you're going through. There's a reason, there's a purpose. I am a hundred percent believer in Providence that there is a reason for everything. We may not see it right away, but that's one of the reasons I love working with someone like Stephanie or myself because we're sitting outside of your circumstances, we're not involved in the emotional experience that you're going through. And we can see things just like she was saying in the in in another episode. We can see things that you can't see, we can make connections that you can't make on your own.

Stephanie: 15:59

Yeah. Well, you know, and I love uh I coach we had you you can't read the label from inside of your own bottle. No, but I but what guess what? You don't we're here, yes. But who else can read your label? Who knows it better than anybody else? Who wrote your label? God wrote the label, exactly who wrote the label. Pray, ask God to give you the information that you need, whether it's from us or from this podcast or from other people in your life, that connection, the people who know you and love you, to reflect and to help you see things differently, to help you get out of that spiral in your mind of the stories that you're telling yourself that are keeping you stuck in that fear, right? Um, the lies, right? But yeah, hey, perfect love, God casts out fear. We are to cast our anxieties upon him. Anxiety is information. Yep. So what is it trying to tell us? Right. This is where I'm not a big journaler, but this is where I will write the heck thing, I will write it down. I will, I will verbal, I will just brain dump on a piece of paper. If I don't know what it is I'm ex like, why am I feeling this way? What is going on? And I ask God and I pray, and I just write and I say, God, just feel it to me, reveal it to me. Uh have I have I overextended myself? Sometimes we're just putting too much on our plate. We're one person, right? Yeah, sometimes we're caring about things that we can't control, and we're and we're trying to wrest control from from God. Oh, control.

Melissa: 17:32

Thank you for bringing up that word.

Stephanie: 17:34

That's a whole other thing.

Melissa: 17:36

I don't know how long this episode is supposed to be, but that's a whole other topic in another episode. But like, how many of us try to control every little minute detail of our lives? Um, I was talking with a friend the other day, she's tracking her macros now and doing, I mean, like we try to we try to control every little thing. And the op and the world would have us believe that the opposite of control is chaos, right? If if there's chaos in your world, you need to grab it, you need to control it. But the opposite of control is actually trust.

Stephanie: 18:14

Trusting in God in our and our faith, faith first focus, uh, the opposite of control is trust. Absolutely. Yep.

Melissa: 18:25

So if you're finding, if you're finding that you're like trying to control every little thing, that's that's an that's more information, right? What is it about this situation that makes me feel I need to control it? And how can I relinquish that control and trust God? Right.

Stephanie: 18:43

We we have uh concentric uh rings in our sphere of control. The inner ring is the what we do absolutely have control over. Yep. Our locality is a good thing. We can choose whether or not to listen to this podcast. Yes, that is completely within your control. Um barring a dead battery on your phone, and then you have to listen to it later, right? That's outside. Well, you have some influence over that. You could have plugged in your phone. But maybe the phone's dying, maybe it goes, maybe you drop it. There's things, right? Yep. Outside of your sphere of control, I can't make somebody else listen to this podcast. Nope. I that's and I could worry about it all day long. I mean, this is a very light-hearted example. I could worry about it, I could try to make it, but I can't, I can't I could try and force them.

Melissa: 19:27

I can try and lead them to I could lead them to the podcast, I could even turn it on for them.

Stephanie: 19:32

Doesn't matter. But if I'm worried about it, I mean, if I'm trying to control it and I'm and I'm and I and I'm trying to create this outcome and I'm and I'm trying to and I'm expecting the outcome, then uh my brain is gonna say, Oh my gosh, this is something I need to be anxious about because it's not happening. You're telling your brain to be stressed about this because you've said, Well, I have control over it, and that's just another lie. We don't. Yep.

Melissa: 19:57

We don't absolutely, absolutely. I can only control the things within my locus of control. Absolutely. Anything outside of that, and I've said this so many times. Uh he'll either get it or he won't. I mean, I can't control that, right? She'll either get it or she won't. There's nothing I can do about it. Uh my my job is to share the information and they will get it or they won't. It's not up to me. It absolutely is not up to me. It is absolutely not up to me. And just like yeah, just like the salvation, it's not up, it's not up to me to save anyone. It's up to me to share the gospel, to share my story, to share what Jesus has done for me. So, Otter, that's it. That's that's my responsibility. That's it. That's all I have control over. After that, God reaps. After that, it's it's yeah, it's out of my hands. Yeah. Yeah.

Stephanie: 20:50

And it's it's just it's so true. And where do we where do we feel that the most when with our children, with our loved ones, with people, you know, and uh, but I find it particularly with children where we want to uh uh create. outcome for them and realize but they're they have their own path with God. So is is it that? What is it what is the source of your anxiety in your life? Write it down. Think about it. Ask God. Sit with it. Be quiet. Turn put the phone away. Turn off the TV. Sit quietly with it, with a piece of paper or just say it out loud. Driving in a car, whatever. Don't close your eyes if you're driving. But really give yourself the space to do this. So often we don't give ourselves the space to to hear God.

Melissa: 21:37

Right. Yes. And we're so our world is so busy. Our world is so noisy visually, auditorily so noisy there's never silence. And God does not we don't hear God in the thunderclap, right? We hear him in the whisper. The whisper. So like where is where is fear ruling really ultimately that's the question. Where's fear ruling your life? How are how are you allowing fear to influence your wellness your walk with with Jesus? How are you where's fear showing up for you? And taking that time and taking that quiet and taking that silence sitting with it and asking asking the one who designed you who knows all your fears anyway. And as we said this is a community.

Stephanie: 22:26

Tell us share. Yeah we'll tell you ours you tell us yours we'll pray together. Yep. Right? Healing happens where in community. In community and if if it's out there if we're sharing it in community guess what's not happening? It's not in the dark it's not festering. It's not growing. It's in the light it's exposed and you can see it for what it is and you can say oh that's it.

Melissa: 22:54

And the darkness hates the light.

Stephanie: 22:57

Thank you for joining us here on Heart and Soul Elevation. If this conversation lifted you share it with another woman who needs community.

Melissa: 23:05

Subscribe for more Faith First conversations and for more community join us over on YouTube where we grow together in real time. Until then may the peace of Christ guard your heart steady your mind and strengthen your body